Sunday, July 5, 2009
MUTE MONDAY: INDEPENDENCE
Don't forget that July 10th is the Budget Meal/Dish CULINARY THROWDOWN CHALLENGE. Still don't know what I'm doing! Next week's Mute Monday is "CLASSIC".
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Happy 4th of July
Reminder that the Mute Monday Theme for July 6th is "INDEPENDENCE". And the CULINARY THROWDOWN CHALLENGE theme for July 10th is "BUDGET MEAL/DISH".
Root for Cousin Boo to move into the Top Ten and Chef Troll to break 80 today!
1700 Update: Apparently some of you don't know Golf Lingo. To "break 80" means shoot LESS than 80!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Whodunnit Wheredoit Troll Poll
This is the city. Los Angeles California. I work here. I carry a badge. My name's Troll Friday. I speak in short sentences. And say Ma'am, a lot.
A fifty-year-old man dies under mysterious circumstances in a rented house.
Option A:
Seal the house, get a search warrant, look for clues, secure possible evidence, explore the motives and opportunities of the deceased man's associates while determining a cause of death.
Option B:
Allow hundreds of people to trample all throughout the house. Allow Two Full-Sized Moving Vans to remove God-Knows-What. 53 hours later go to the house to secure it, wander around aimlessly, and remove the few items that didn't fit in the Moving Vans.
TROLL POLL:
Where would you be more likely to get away with murder?
1)Mayberry USA with zero technology and a 2 person police force including a Sheriff who doesn't carry a gun and a deputy who carries a gun with one bullet.
2)Any Big City run by democrats with huge police forces and the very latest and most expensive crime-solving technologies.
Something Mr. Troll is going to try on Saturday. I'm NOT confident, I can pull it off. I don't think Boo could pull it off either.
One of these pictures is a real Los Angeles Cop. The others are fictional characters. Who's who?
A fifty-year-old man dies under mysterious circumstances in a rented house.
Option A:
Seal the house, get a search warrant, look for clues, secure possible evidence, explore the motives and opportunities of the deceased man's associates while determining a cause of death.
Option B:
Allow hundreds of people to trample all throughout the house. Allow Two Full-Sized Moving Vans to remove God-Knows-What. 53 hours later go to the house to secure it, wander around aimlessly, and remove the few items that didn't fit in the Moving Vans.
TROLL POLL:
Where would you be more likely to get away with murder?
1)Mayberry USA with zero technology and a 2 person police force including a Sheriff who doesn't carry a gun and a deputy who carries a gun with one bullet.
2)Any Big City run by democrats with huge police forces and the very latest and most expensive crime-solving technologies.
Something Mr. Troll is going to try on Saturday. I'm NOT confident, I can pull it off. I don't think Boo could pull it off either.
One of these pictures is a real Los Angeles Cop. The others are fictional characters. Who's who?
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
SEX SCIENCE MOTHER GOOSE TROLL POLL
As you know, the gravest concern of the USA's Founders was that a situation could develop in which a political party become dictatorial and put it's interests ahead of the people's while subverting the rule-of-law. And that bloc-voting towards one political party in urban areas could result in that party having apathy or even hostility towards the people living in less densely-populated areas.
Well, we clearly have a situation today where one party, the democrats, dominate all 5 branches of Government with a base-of-support that tilts heavily urban. But the TROLL POLL asks:
Is this the MOST powerfully dominant (and dangerous) any political party has been in America?
1) Yes it is, because...
2) No, Franklin Roosevelt's democrats were more powerfully dominant during the depression and WW2.
3) No, the democrats were more powerful in the late 1970s than they are today.
On to the Mother Goose Stakes and Sex (or gender) Science. As some of y'all know and some of you heard a bit about during the Mine-That-Bird/Rachel Alexendra hullabaloo, Colts and Fillies mature sexually at different rates. There are financial and historical factors, but sexual biology is a basis for the "Fillies should race Fillies" statements.
Somewhat oppposite to humans and trolls, Colts reach "puberty" faster and more dramatically. Up to about 24 months, colts probably don't know they're going to be stallions someday and fillies don't know they'll become mares. They play similarly. Run similarly. Males are only a tiny bit bigger, on average. They interact similarly with sexually mature Stallions and Mares.
Then colts produce massive amounts of hormones (including testestorone) quickly and change rapidly. They get taller, and, with training, pack-on-muscle that comes in handy in longer races. They're suddenly VERY aware that they're Male and VERY interested in the Ladies. Sexually mature mares find that change ANNOYING and will bite and kick them. There aren't any "cougars" in the equine world! Grrherhahahaha! But fillies their own age, who haven't yet had their hormone spurt, find their newly aggressive behavior on-and-off the track completely baffling and can get spooked by it. Like human males in a similar situation, they really don't know what's going on. By Kentucky Derby time, the differences are stark.
About 4-6 months after the colts, they have their own slower hormone spurt and come quite close to catching up with the colts in most ways. Including, with training, the ability to win races. So, by the time their 4 year-old season begins, there's little BIOLOGICAL reason to have them avoid racing against colts. And because of the biology, there's less financial reason to avoid doing so.
Rachel Alexendra, prior to reaching sexual maturity, has been absolutely dominant against age-cohort fillies winning by huge margins and won in her only race against sexually mature colts at the Preakness. She did so again at the Mother Goose Stakes. I'm pretty sure she:
1) Won by the greatest margin EVER.
2) Set the new Stakes record eclipsing greats such as Ruffian and Sky Beauty.
3) Incredibly came within 7/8s of a second of the immortal Secretariat's TRACK record at the distance.
Folks, when little Rachel is all grown up, she's going to be a BEAST. And she'll be close to all grown-up by the Breeder's Cup. Hope her connections let her run in it. And hope they do a 180 and let her race as a 4-year-old.
Well, we clearly have a situation today where one party, the democrats, dominate all 5 branches of Government with a base-of-support that tilts heavily urban. But the TROLL POLL asks:
Is this the MOST powerfully dominant (and dangerous) any political party has been in America?
1) Yes it is, because...
2) No, Franklin Roosevelt's democrats were more powerfully dominant during the depression and WW2.
3) No, the democrats were more powerful in the late 1970s than they are today.
On to the Mother Goose Stakes and Sex (or gender) Science. As some of y'all know and some of you heard a bit about during the Mine-That-Bird/Rachel Alexendra hullabaloo, Colts and Fillies mature sexually at different rates. There are financial and historical factors, but sexual biology is a basis for the "Fillies should race Fillies" statements.
Somewhat oppposite to humans and trolls, Colts reach "puberty" faster and more dramatically. Up to about 24 months, colts probably don't know they're going to be stallions someday and fillies don't know they'll become mares. They play similarly. Run similarly. Males are only a tiny bit bigger, on average. They interact similarly with sexually mature Stallions and Mares.
Then colts produce massive amounts of hormones (including testestorone) quickly and change rapidly. They get taller, and, with training, pack-on-muscle that comes in handy in longer races. They're suddenly VERY aware that they're Male and VERY interested in the Ladies. Sexually mature mares find that change ANNOYING and will bite and kick them. There aren't any "cougars" in the equine world! Grrherhahahaha! But fillies their own age, who haven't yet had their hormone spurt, find their newly aggressive behavior on-and-off the track completely baffling and can get spooked by it. Like human males in a similar situation, they really don't know what's going on. By Kentucky Derby time, the differences are stark.
About 4-6 months after the colts, they have their own slower hormone spurt and come quite close to catching up with the colts in most ways. Including, with training, the ability to win races. So, by the time their 4 year-old season begins, there's little BIOLOGICAL reason to have them avoid racing against colts. And because of the biology, there's less financial reason to avoid doing so.
Rachel Alexendra, prior to reaching sexual maturity, has been absolutely dominant against age-cohort fillies winning by huge margins and won in her only race against sexually mature colts at the Preakness. She did so again at the Mother Goose Stakes. I'm pretty sure she:
1) Won by the greatest margin EVER.
2) Set the new Stakes record eclipsing greats such as Ruffian and Sky Beauty.
3) Incredibly came within 7/8s of a second of the immortal Secretariat's TRACK record at the distance.
Folks, when little Rachel is all grown up, she's going to be a BEAST. And she'll be close to all grown-up by the Breeder's Cup. Hope her connections let her run in it. And hope they do a 180 and let her race as a 4-year-old.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
MUTE MONDAY: A Year in Pictures
The next CULINARY THROWDOWN CHALLENGE will be July 10th right HERE. The theme will be
"Obamanation/Recession/Budget" meal/dish. As per usual, there will be prizes for participants including the prized title of REIGNING CULINARY THROWDOWN CHALLENGE CHAMPION. A title I currently hold having wrested it from Donna/heff.
The next Mute Monday theme is "INDEPENDENCE".
Several athletes had a moment-in-the-sun playing American sports in 1973. One's performances transcended sports. And nation. And time. Making his only point of reference: Himself.
"Obamanation/Recession/Budget" meal/dish. As per usual, there will be prizes for participants including the prized title of REIGNING CULINARY THROWDOWN CHALLENGE CHAMPION. A title I currently hold having wrested it from Donna/heff.
The next Mute Monday theme is "INDEPENDENCE".
Several athletes had a moment-in-the-sun playing American sports in 1973. One's performances transcended sports. And nation. And time. Making his only point of reference: Himself.
Friday, June 26, 2009
MICHAEL JACKSON: THE FINAL WORD
As a "performer", he was Milli Vanilli with a well-spring of nostalgic good-will from baby-boomers, great publicists, and a lot-of-luck. But even less taste in men's fashions. Frankly, Milli Vanilli was better but I'm looking for kind things to say.
As a "Human Being", he was a loathesome and nearly illiterate pedophile. And a bigoted hateful vindictive weakling crybaby. Can't think of ANY good things to say about him as a person, frankly.
The things being said about him in the media are as OVER-THE-TOP as any I've ever seen. My fave so far was the clown who said he and Mozart are Numbers One and Two on the list of musical genuises! He had Jackson FIRST.
Mikey Jacko couldn't read or write music. He couldn't play an instrument. As an adult, he had a mediocre voice. DECADES AGO, it's true that after multiple takes and much studio magic, he could record an album. And DECADES AGO, after multiple takes, he could APPEAR to be able to dance ON VIDEO.
In concert, he was a disaster. He lip-synched. He forgot lyrics while lip-synching. And he couldn't dance at all. When he did actually sing, he was frequently off-key.
THAT is the FINAL WORD and the unvarnished truth.
As a "Human Being", he was a loathesome and nearly illiterate pedophile. And a bigoted hateful vindictive weakling crybaby. Can't think of ANY good things to say about him as a person, frankly.
The things being said about him in the media are as OVER-THE-TOP as any I've ever seen. My fave so far was the clown who said he and Mozart are Numbers One and Two on the list of musical genuises! He had Jackson FIRST.
Mikey Jacko couldn't read or write music. He couldn't play an instrument. As an adult, he had a mediocre voice. DECADES AGO, it's true that after multiple takes and much studio magic, he could record an album. And DECADES AGO, after multiple takes, he could APPEAR to be able to dance ON VIDEO.
In concert, he was a disaster. He lip-synched. He forgot lyrics while lip-synching. And he couldn't dance at all. When he did actually sing, he was frequently off-key.
THAT is the FINAL WORD and the unvarnished truth.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
EEOC Adventure #1.
USELESS PERMANENT EEOC BUREAUCRAT: Hello, capitalist oppressor storm-trooper for the ruling class. You haven't filled out the EEOC Diversity Outreach Form 280-B and we need it by Friday.
Troll: It says "VOLUNTARY" and we've elected not to "volunteer" to fill it out.
UPEB: No, it isn't voluntary. We need it by Friday.
Troll: The title of the form says "Voluntary Diversity Outreach Study". And it says voluntary in the instructions as well.
UPEB: Well, it might SAY "voluntary" but we really want it. By Friday. Why don't you want to co-operate with the Government? We're here to help you.
Troll: I love the Government and especially the highly intelligent edicts of the EEOC.
UPEB: That's the spirit! So, I'll just make a notation here that you've promised to deliver the Form by Friday and understand the severe sanctions and fines your company faces if you're late.
Troll: I didn't make that promise. In fact, looking at the "voluntary" instructions it would be ILLEGAL for me to furnish that information. They say I should get the Racial/National Origin/Religious information on those 600 employees by getting the EEOC Form 220-A out of their personnel files. We don't have employees fill out that form anymore. It's been ILLEGAL to keep that information in employee's files for TWELVE FREAKING years now.
UPEB: Really? What kind of freaking idiots made THAT the law?
Troll: The EEOC. Your bosses. The same ones that want me to fill out this new "voluntary" form by Friday.
UPEB: You're probably lying but I'm going to check with my bosses and get back to you.
Troll: I'm SO looking forward to that.
THURSDAY REARS IT'S UGLY HEAD.
UPEB: Hi, capitalist oppressor pig. It's me again. It turns out there IS a tiny problem with the wording of the instructions. But we brain-stormed and came up with a solution. How's that for good news? And even better, we've decided to give you until Saturday to get us the information.
Troll: What's the solution?
UBEB: It's brilliant! Elegant! The finest minds at the EEOC have outdone themselves!
Troll: What's the solution?
UPEB: Well, as EVERYONE knows you can't make employees fill out form 220-A furnishing their racial and religious backgrounds anymore. But YOU as Director of Human Resources CAN fill it out for them! Then you can use that information to fill out Voluntary Form 280-B and get it to us by Saturday. GENUIS!
Troll: But I don't know that information. And the 600 employees are in New York and I'm in Florida.
UPEB: We've thought of that! The EEOC thinks of everything!
Troll: And?
UPEB: Just fly up to New York tomorrow. LOOK at all 600 Employees and GUESS what their national origin and racial background is.
Yes kids, the conversation above actually took place. Verbatim. I was ordered to GUESS our employee's racial backgrounds and fill out an out-dated illegal form and a new "VOLUNTARY" form.
One of the unpublicized goings-on in the whirlwind of government spending and control that is the Obamanation is a HUGE increase in the power of the EEOC. Most of which doesn't need Congressional approval or oversight. One proposed change that can be made law by a stroke of Obama's pen would do severe damage to Mr. Troll's industry and an even larger related industry.
Other changes in policy (and in enforcement emphasis) have already taken place and will negatively impact ALL private-sector employers. Including yours.
Troll: It says "VOLUNTARY" and we've elected not to "volunteer" to fill it out.
UPEB: No, it isn't voluntary. We need it by Friday.
Troll: The title of the form says "Voluntary Diversity Outreach Study". And it says voluntary in the instructions as well.
UPEB: Well, it might SAY "voluntary" but we really want it. By Friday. Why don't you want to co-operate with the Government? We're here to help you.
Troll: I love the Government and especially the highly intelligent edicts of the EEOC.
UPEB: That's the spirit! So, I'll just make a notation here that you've promised to deliver the Form by Friday and understand the severe sanctions and fines your company faces if you're late.
Troll: I didn't make that promise. In fact, looking at the "voluntary" instructions it would be ILLEGAL for me to furnish that information. They say I should get the Racial/National Origin/Religious information on those 600 employees by getting the EEOC Form 220-A out of their personnel files. We don't have employees fill out that form anymore. It's been ILLEGAL to keep that information in employee's files for TWELVE FREAKING years now.
UPEB: Really? What kind of freaking idiots made THAT the law?
Troll: The EEOC. Your bosses. The same ones that want me to fill out this new "voluntary" form by Friday.
UPEB: You're probably lying but I'm going to check with my bosses and get back to you.
Troll: I'm SO looking forward to that.
THURSDAY REARS IT'S UGLY HEAD.
UPEB: Hi, capitalist oppressor pig. It's me again. It turns out there IS a tiny problem with the wording of the instructions. But we brain-stormed and came up with a solution. How's that for good news? And even better, we've decided to give you until Saturday to get us the information.
Troll: What's the solution?
UBEB: It's brilliant! Elegant! The finest minds at the EEOC have outdone themselves!
Troll: What's the solution?
UPEB: Well, as EVERYONE knows you can't make employees fill out form 220-A furnishing their racial and religious backgrounds anymore. But YOU as Director of Human Resources CAN fill it out for them! Then you can use that information to fill out Voluntary Form 280-B and get it to us by Saturday. GENUIS!
Troll: But I don't know that information. And the 600 employees are in New York and I'm in Florida.
UPEB: We've thought of that! The EEOC thinks of everything!
Troll: And?
UPEB: Just fly up to New York tomorrow. LOOK at all 600 Employees and GUESS what their national origin and racial background is.
Yes kids, the conversation above actually took place. Verbatim. I was ordered to GUESS our employee's racial backgrounds and fill out an out-dated illegal form and a new "VOLUNTARY" form.
One of the unpublicized goings-on in the whirlwind of government spending and control that is the Obamanation is a HUGE increase in the power of the EEOC. Most of which doesn't need Congressional approval or oversight. One proposed change that can be made law by a stroke of Obama's pen would do severe damage to Mr. Troll's industry and an even larger related industry.
Other changes in policy (and in enforcement emphasis) have already taken place and will negatively impact ALL private-sector employers. Including yours.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
